Our 2WW begins...

Our 2WW  begins... This morning we went in for the SA and IUI.  My husband is a rockstar, 63million post wash.... Now to just have 1 little swimmer find its target!  After having something planned everyday for the last month, the next 2 weeks I might get bored (NOT)!  I won't know much so therefore I won't be updating as frequently!   I'm scheduled to go in for my beta (blood pregnancy test) on 2 weeks from Monday.  Many prayers for a successful fertilization and implantation.  

Mike and I had the boys this weekend.... they enjoyed playing with the dogs!  We went to the Renaissance festival in the middle of the rain yesterday, we had a great time just a little on the muddy side!  Well I better get moving, 2 boys are ready to go to Bass Pro Shop and then going to pick out some pumpkins before heading home.  I hope everyone has a great Sunday and good week! 

Triggered!

Today is the day I have waited 30days for.... My appt this morning we measured 5 follies: 1 at 19mm (mature), 14.5mm (which RE is hoping will be mature in time), 1 @ 13.8, and 2 @ 12.5.  My RE didnt give me an actual number of my E2 today but he did say that is was high and that I was ready.  I feel bad now knowing that we have finally made some headway, I requested at my appt (prior to the U/S) to speak to my Dr.  I wanted to be sure that we were all on the same page and that this cycle will be finished 1 way or another today.  8 cartridges of Follistim later and I triggered with Ovidrel 20mins ago.  I am ecstatic and nervous.  So much going through my mind... so hopeful for what could be!  Please pray for hubby and I as we take another step closer to our dream. 

Welcome Tripp

The last couple of days have been busy around our house.  We got a new dog... his name is Tripp!!  Harley really needed a playmate so we adopted another friend for her.  Tripp is half Harleys size, he's a Dauschund/Beagle mix and he is a whole 17 pounds.  He is very sweet and keeps up with Harley playing nonstop.  He is a happy little fella and we are loving having him at our house.  Except that he has felt the need to "mark his territory" and on my carpet.  But I guess we will keep him!

Today started off frustrating... I got in my car to head to my appt and it wouldn't start, just click, click, click!  So I called Mike and he came home from work to help me, but of course we tried to jump start it and nothing...dead as a door nail.  So Mike went with me to my appt, which proved to be quite interesting.  I was disappointed because my 1 follicle didnt grow, in fact, it stayed the same.  But to my surprise we had some growth.. 3 other follicles have began to grow.  She measured 5...yes 5!!!!!  Holy smokes.... 1 follie at 13.8mm(same one from last time), 1 follie at 13mm, 1 at 12mm, and 1 at 11mm and 1 at 10mm.  WOWZER!  I finally have growth.... I could do a jig!!!  My E2 today is 496... we are getting so close!!!  I go back on Friday for a recheck and hopefully that is the day I will trigger, so it looks like Sunday morning might be our insemination.  Wish me luck!  And maybe a small prayer for only 3 to get to mature... I would hate to see all this work go to waste because too many decided to come out and play!

I was reminded again today of Gods power in my life... I was at Fed Ex, after my appointment, to pick up my meds again and will need 1 more order again this week to get through to Friday.  When a woman came in crying while I was checking out.  She handed the woman at the counter a picture and said "he's missing"  I was sad for her... I had assumed it was her dog.  Then as I was walking away I got a closer look, it was a picture of about a 3year old little boy... My heart was broken!!  Please pray for this family and families everywhere that have "lost" their children.  God reminded me in that moment that I have inner strength that will carry me through whatever obstacle that lies ahead... God bless each of you that have given me strength in my time of need. 

She'll be coming around the mountain...

She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes... I think my ovaries are finally starting to work?!?!  Mike was able to go with me today, bright and early!  We were the first appt of the day, so the hubby got to see my uterus and ovaries at my U/S and we have 1 follicle measuring 14mm, and my b/w (E2) was an impressive 326.  Tonights dosage will be the same.... 150IU.  My E2 shows that my follicle is maturing just the way it should be and we should only be at this for a few more days.  Im elated!!  After 27shots over the last 22 days Im so excited for this cycle to finally reach the midway point... my next appt is Tuesday morning and from there we will know whats in store for the rest of the week.  Grow follie grow! Fingers crossed for our IUI to be Thursday or Friday (my days off).  Bless my co-workers for covering for me so I have been able to run over to the Drs office for my biweekly appts.  I would never have gotten through this first cycle without their support!  My prayers today are for my husband that he will always know how wonderful I think he is, even when "the hormones" make me difficult.  I love you Michael and I pray we are 1 day closer to our goal. 

Thumbs down AGAIN!

And the disappointment continues on CD 22... My appt today showed 1 follicle on the rt at 12.3mm but the other 1 that was measured 3days ago has disappeared.  My new dosage is 150IU.  My E2 is now 173.  My next appt is Sunday.  No matter what angle I look at my situation today I can find no positive. I need your prayers more than ever... Infertility is so unfair.  For those wondering, a normal cycle last 28days with ovulation occuring between CD 12-16days and as you can see from my number we may be at this for quite a while longer this cycle for a 25% chance at pregnancy.  This is my dream and I know I must fight and so when I read this poem today I have made it my new motto...

Don't Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low, and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit....

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar.

So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit....

It's when things go wrong that you musn't quit.

So heres to hoping Sunday comes with more uplifiting news...

   

Monday Night Football

Good afternoon!  The sun is shining and it is a great day!?  The buzz is rampant around KC... today is opening night for the Chiefs and Monday Night Football!!  I am very excited because football season is finally here and with that means my favorite season... FALL!!  Bring on the highs in the 60's and relief from allergies.  I got in the mood for fall and football season with chili dogs and frito pies for dinner... GO CHIEFS!! 

When I got home tonight completely exhausted from insomnia, after the last week of not sleeping well, my sweet little furbaby had a different plan than chillaxin!  Miss Harley decided she had been cooped up all day and needed a good run, so off to the backyard we went.  She loves to be chased with her rope ball in her mouth and chasin is what I did!  Whew, now maybe some computer time without being nudged for petting or ball throwing for 10mins... :)

On another note today is CD 19 and my appt today left me with mixed feelings... E2 dropped to 160 (??WTH??) but the U/S proved to keep my spirits up!  1 follie at 10.5mm on rt and 1 follie 8.5mm on lt... On the menu tonight: 1 extra click Follistim to 142IU.  With that said another medication order was placed today... So prayers today for the safe delivery of my meds and for the workers who fill my order every 4-5days and for those who delivery them to me!  They have no idea about the impact they are having on my life, they are giving my husband and I hope for the future!

Today I realized our dream comes with a price tag... A large price tag!

And the stimming continues... CD 16 and I might have found my dosage?!?  My E2 is 245 and my u/s showed 1 follicle at 9mm.  I had to reorder for the 3rd time this cycle! yeehaw?  The Fed Ex guy should know how lucky he is that I had already had my breakdown for the day when he finally arrived with my meds.  I was ANGRY that he was so late, which made me late for my monitoring appt and was extremely disappointed with the 'same ole' results.   I truly didnt know how very difficult this whole process would be emotionally.  I feel very weak!  There are times when I am maxed out by peoples comments and find myself crying over things that, previous to this experience, would have rolled right off my shoulder. My eye must remain on the prize and so I continue on when I want to stop the bumpy uphill roller coaster.  Please pray tonight for all of us IF families... that we will have a short time on this journey, that each of us have strength to keep moving toward the prize and that 1 day God will bless us too. 

Terrific Tuesday??

Well it is Tuesday and I made sure to get up and do my hair and all for today!!  It is also CD 13 which means appt day to check on my ovaries and see if they have decided to play nicely.  I put on my newly bought super cute dress for today and headed out the door.  I worked for a couple hours then headed over to the RE's office to find out what kind of progress this ole body is making...

So the nurse does her usual and to my surprise she measured something... I remembered thinking that doesn't look any bigger than every other time but praise God she is measuring!  I mentioned that to her and she said I knew you were very anxious and so I measured to reassure you.  Well great Lady... there you go and burst my bubble, I thought we were maybe starting to wake up down south (apparently not quite yet).  I left a little disappointed by still quite cute in my new dress.  So when the call came in from the nurse that my E2 is now 166 I about jumped out of my skin and did a dance.  Maybe we will play a little nicer at the next appt?  As long as my E2 is rising then we are heading in the right directions even if it is a little slower than I had hoped.  Tonights new dose is 1 more click up to 133IU, please follies its time to play.  I cant get that kids game... Simon says out of my head, well listen here 32yr old ovaries its time for action because SIMON SAYS!

We shall see if that does the trick... Friday is my next appt.  Please send prayers my way, I am very bitchy from all the hormones and repeated "not yet" visits.  I need strength for me and my family as this journey continues to feel like Im climbing a mountain. 

CD 10... Just another Saturday

Just another Saturday for me... oh wait I got to get up early and head to the RE for my biweekly appt with the dildo cam.  I have forgotten how much fun sleeping in would be... maybe tomorrow?  My hubby is off to class and Im heading in... I am optimistic today, these darn follicles will finally be growing. 

Well I got to see my actual Dr today which gave me hope, his words were.. "wow you have a lot of follicles".  Great they are in there any chance a few of them want to be the leader and grow?  Follicles are considered mature when they measure about 20mm.  The hopes with these SQ shots is that 1-3 follicles will grow and become mature so that I can trigger with a different shot and about 34-36hrs later we will do the insemination.  Well today like all the others came bearing no new or great news, my E2 is 116 (actually a little less than last time) and yet again no "lead" follicles.  But today Im going to keep my chin up.... I'm going shopping!!!!  Im also bumping up my dosage again to 125IU of Follistim, grow follies grow and we will check in on you Tuesday morning. 

Discouraged

So today was CD7, four days worth of shots.  I went in this morning for my U/S and b/w.  My E2 is 118, which is ok (its at least rising) but it took 3 sticks to get my blood.   My U/S proved to be very discouraging.  There were no follicles leading, so basically Im not responding at all to the meds at this point.  So the RE increased my dosage to 108IU.  I can hardly wait since that means 2 shots tonight so I use up every drop of this expensive medication.  I also had to call and reorder since we are heading into a holiday weekend, 2 little vials for $400.   The one positive I could find about the whole appointment was that little cyst that was on my rt ovary has resolved.  Please keep praying that I have strength as we continue this journey and for something to start happening in those little ovaries of mine.